farewell, 2008.

2008 brought me many good things, including frozen hot chocolate.

Farewell, 2008. You brought me:

New friends
Old friends
A big move
An engagement
Tonsillitis
My 22nd birthday
A surprise visit from my cousin
Mentoring some awesome girls
A new job
Time with the fam
Two road trips with the little cuz
Visit to St. Augustine with some of the best friends ever
A shower in Montgomery with my favorites
My first business trip
Two rental car experiences
A trip to New York (and a visit to Serendipity)
Time at the beach
A new home
A new fam
A wedding and a marriage
A husband
The best roommate ever
A trip to New England
Our very own Christmas tree
My first time to shoot a gun

Farewell, 2008. You’ve been good to me.

(Isn’t it crazy that I couldn't even remember I’d done all this stuff? My mind is starting to play time-tricks on me…)

blessings in the chaos

Jordan and I went to see his family this past weekend, and his mom and I got to spend some time alone together. As I sat there filling her in on the ups and downs of the past month, she looked at me with wisdom (and pity?) in her eyes: “Annie, it’s okay to be stressed. You moved, got engaged, started a new job, navigated a long-distance relationship, planned a wedding, and got married all in the same year. Those are major life changes, and you experienced them all in a matter of months. It’s easy to understand why you’d be overwhelmed.” It was all I could do not to look at that woman and cry.

She’s right. Life has been stressful. Marriage is oh-so-grand, but Jordan and I are different from a lot of married couples we know. He’s in school, and I happen to be bringing home the bacon. And let’s just say… It’s not great bacon. I’m a journalism major, remember? On top of all the typical stresses married life brings, we’ve got finances to work through and budget together. The point is, 2008 has been a roller coaster, so full of these major changes, and yet… God has sent some incredible blessings my way. Blessings I hope I haven't ignored in the chaos.

So, 2008, I’d hate to wish these last two days of you away. Instead, I’d like to take some time to thank you for the goodness you’ve brought to my life. I want to relish these last two days of you as best I can. I don't want a moment to go by that I'm not grateful for the ways my Creator has moved in my life this year. I want to say thank you.

Thank you, 2008, for:

- Bringing me and Jordan together after three years of dating/courting, and after one year of long-distance

- Granting me a period of independence that I needed

- Finding us a place to call our own at Timberlane

- Allowing me to use my gifts in a variety of ways

- Blessing me with a job in this up-and-down economy

- Giving me a new appreciation for my family and the way I was raised

- Helping me use this blog as an outlet for my writing

- Showing me how God is moving in my life

- Furnishing us with the cutest apartment you ever did see

- Building my confidence and my leadership capabilities

- Encouraging me to make new friends and then providing me with those friends

- Reconnecting me with dear, old friends

- Making me see life as an adventure to be had

- Inspiring me to see 2009 as a blank slate

Thank you, 2008, for teaching me to give in to things that are bigger than me, that are beyond my comprehension.

:.snapshots of Christmas.:

Before after-Christmas-depression sets in, here’s a recap of our wonderful holiday:

Our delightful first-Christmas tree. A Christmas party with my crazy cousins and some crazy friends. Cookie-baking with my aunt, a 20-year-old tradition. A visit from Santa at our very own apartment. And a trip to visit lovely new family in Alabama.

Oh how I hate to see it go! I love Christmas and all it means: the family, the traditions, the movies, the music, the decorations, the traveling, the food, the gift-giving and the gift-receiving... It was a beautiful holiday season, full of all the good things Christmas is meant to contain.

Now it's on to 2009. I wonder what this year will bring?

a Christmas reminder.

It’s Christmas Eve, and I just ate poptarts and orange soda for breakfast in my cubicle.

My, how my world has changed.

After re-reading yesterday’s post, I realized what moments like these (the “my-life-is-changing-and-moving-fast-and-I-can’t-do-anything-to-stop-it” moments) do for me.

They remind me that my Father is over all and in all. That He is unwavering in His love for me. That His power over my life doesn’t change, but that He is the author and creator of change, and with Him by my side, I’m going to be okay. Better than okay.

May you, dear friends and long-lost acquaintances, have a joy-filled Christmas, a Christmas where change and tradition intertwine into unforgettable moments. And may God continue to remind us all that He is Lord of our lives.

For the lyrics to one of my favorite "Christmas" songs, visit mine & Jenna's blog: http://jennaandannie.blogspot.com/.

what nobody tells you.

Sunday afternoon, I was headed to Lowe’s with my father with strict instructions from my mother to pick out a new floor for mine and Chet’s bathroom, despite the fact that I don’t live there anymore and Chet is on his way out the door (we all have our ways of coping, I guess).

As I rode along with Dad, I couldn’t help but think what a crazy year it’s been.

This time last year (almost to the day), I was doing this:

I’d just finished the internship of my dreams, something I had worked long and hard to achieve. I had no idea what was next, and although I was nervous, I was also excited at all the unknown possibilities.

2008, as I told a dear friend, was going to be my quiet year, time to spend together, just me and God. I was going to “figure things out,” clear my head, find myself, and all that jazz.

Then Jordan proposed, and that ring I now wear quite literally turned my world upside down. Please don’t misunderstand: I am so very, very glad Jordan asked me to marry him. I love hanging out with my best friend, spending time together. I love that us being married eliminates one of the great unknowns that comes with being in your 20s. In short, I love the married life.

But may I just say that being married also changes things. It brings the far-off notion of adulthood right smack in front of your face. It makes you remember childhood Christmas traditions and winter breaks and realize… that was it. It’s over.

I love the new life Jordan and I are creating together. But I also am missing the life that slowly is becoming a memory.

I know I’m lucky. Right now, I kind of have the best of both worlds. Last night I made cookies with my aunt and cousins (a tradition that goes back 20 years). And the night before, Jordan and I sat, admiring our Christmas tree and watching Miracle on 34th Street in our cozy little apartment. I’m getting to enjoy old traditions and establish new ones.

But it all still feels a little bittersweet to me. Maybe it’s because the cookie-baking tradition seems to be fading (you know, since I’m 22 and my cousins are 15 and 12). It’s not quite the same as it was years ago. But I wish it was. I think it may be the eldest child in me. I’ve always kind of pushed to maintain family traditions. Case in point: I made Chet and I get our picture taken putting out cookies for Santa last year, despite the fact that we’re both in our 20s.

As a result of all this, I’m kind of hesitant about Christmas Eve, when Jordan and I will leave my grandmother’s annual Christmas party and my parents and Chet will travel the other direction. Will Chet put out cookies for Santa? (I’m guessing no.) Will Dad still read “The Night Before Christmas”? Who will kiss Dad’s other cheek, as per family ritual?

Life is changing, and I’m trying to keep up. Really, I am.

I know Jordan and I need to establish our own Christmas Eve tradition, but part of me just wishes he’d help me and Chet put out cookies at my parents’ house this year. That Dad could read the Christmas story to all three of us this year. I guess I’m just not quite ready to give it all up just yet.

No one told me that life changes so fast, and that the bittersweet-ness of it all can make you cry in your office cubicle on the eve of Christmas Eve.

This is the stuff people should warn you about. You know, that life changes fast, and even at 22, you sometimes just have to try and keep up.

attention new england:

Dear New England,

I can’t get you off my mind. I know this is probably moving pretty fast, but I just think you should know. The chilly winter days, the adorable hats and scarves, the historic churches, the cobblestone streets… You’ve captured my attention, and it’s everything I can do not to wish I’m still with you.

But I have to move on. I’d hate for the “end-of-vacation” depression to kick in right as Christmas is beginning. So, I’ll look at photos like these, and choose to remember with hope instead of longing.

I’ll cherish the memories we made, and I’ll hope for a time when we can be back together again. When money’s not so tight, and work isn’t calling my name. When life isn’t so hectic, when Jordan and I need another break. Maybe when the leaves are changing color, we’ll see each other again. I think I’d like that.

So, New England, I’m saying goodbye. But I’ll keep dreaming. The memories we made will keep my love for you alive.

Still very much yours,

Annie

More honeymoon pictures can be seen here.

coping.

I'd like you to meet this dog. Only, this isn't her. I can't find a picture. But this kind of looks like her.

Her name is Dixie. We got her in Alabama (before I lived there).

She's my brother's.

(This brother. You know, the libertarian, on-fire-for-God one. He's going to Harding in January. I will miss him. We're pretty tight. Growing up together can do that for two people.)

So, this dog. Dixie. She's my brother's. He loves her. He even thought about taking her to prom once. (He decided not to go at all. We both didn't. We have that in common-- and a lot of other things.)

Back to the story. He loves Dixie. And she has cancer. We found out last week. Today we found out it's worse than we thought.

We're all a little down right now.

Because see, I got married. And Chet is going to Harding. A lot of change for us to handle. But at least my parents had two dogs to keep them company. Comfort, you know?

Now they might not.

I actually don't like Dixie all that much. That's cruel to say, and I hate admitting it. It's a little heartless, I realize. But I might as well be honest. She has a lot of hair. And is a little hyper. I don't know how old she is, but she acts two. So, I touch her on occasion, but she's not my fav. She's Chet's. And now she's sick.

It's a lot for the family to handle. And me too. So I write.

It's always been my coping mechanism, writing. I'm not a good crier. I hate crying, actually, though I've gotten better at it with age. So I always wind up feeling bad. That I can't/don't cry. Although, I might cry in the closet, or into my pillow. But I hate crying in front of people. Which I think bothers people.

"Why isn't Annie crying?" they ask themselves.

"Because instead she's writing," I say.

So here it is:

Dixie has cancer.

She's my brother's.

He loves her.

He's moving.

I hate it: the moving and the cancer.

It's a good thing we all have each other.

{chaos}

Life is a little, shall we say, crazy right now... I'm swamped at work; Jordan's in the middle of finals; we're both recovering from sinus-like illnesses; our apartment needs a new roof and... soon we're going on our honeymoon. Plus, um, isn't Christmas on its way?

CHAOS.

But in the middle of all this insanity: wedding pictures!

I can't post any to the blog (except this little shot, seen on the photographer's blog recently), but I can tell you to visit the viewing website.


Seriously, the pictures are worth it, I promise. You don't have to view all of them (there are oh, so many!), but the pre-ceremony, ceremony, and portrait groups are worth glancing through. Let me know what you think! Such a fun distraction from the crazy-ness.

Another nice break from the chaos? The advent service Jordan and I managed to attend Sunday night was AMAZING. Truly. The music was so beautiful, and the service helped me start the holidays off right. So peaceful. If you get the chance to attend a service similar, please do. You really won't regret it.

If you don't have the opportunity to check out an advent service in your area, listen to the service we attended. I loved how they told the entire story of Christ, God's plan to save us from the very beginning. The fact that the musicians and singers were so talented was just an added bonus.

I love that even during this crazy time of our year, there are still moments to soak in His glory, still moments to soak in His goodness.

the i-can't-wait kind of waiting

My last post, I realize, may have sounded a little whiny. Especially since this year, I’m one of the “lucky” ones: at least I have a job. And you know what? It’s actually pretty nice.

In reality, I’m doing a couple of the items listed in my letter, and many of the other things I thankfully have time to accomplish outside of my 8-to-5. I feel a little silly now, complaining about a job I actually don’t mind, a job I’m blessed to have. I’ve only been in this working world for ten months or so, and I’ve got to tell you, it’s been an adjustment. But I have a feeling that where I am right now is the best place for me to be. (I had this revelation even before I found out last night that so many of my former Coastal Living co-workers lost their jobs yesterday.) This past January, I waited for a job, and God provided. He’s been good to me; if He wants me to wait for something else to come along, then waiting is what I’ll do.

Which got me thinking: we spend a lot of our lives waiting, don’t we? Waiting for a spouse, waiting for a job, for a raise. Waiting for events to take place. Waiting, waiting, waiting.

This month, I’m devoting myself to a season of waiting. Not waiting like “I’m-in-line-at-security-at-the-airport-and-I-just-want-to-get-on-my-flight” waiting. But “waiting-in-anticipation-because-I’m-so-excited-I-can’t-stand-it” waiting. I’m waiting for God to do things, change things. I’m waiting for Christ to come, not just to this world, but to my heart.

Maybe it’s because I’ve been trying to pray the Hours, or maybe it’s the fact that I want to start some Christmas traditions of my very own, but this year I’ve found myself with an increased interest in the season of Advent. (Thanks, Betsy, for helping me in my little quest!) Advent, I have learned, is all about the celebration of waiting. Remembering the anticipation that came with waiting for the Christ-child. Waiting for God to grace us with His physical presence again. And waiting for Him to enter His throne in our individual lives.

This Sunday, Jordan and I are going to attend an advent service at a local church. I’m so excited; I can’t wait to report back what we learn and discover. I’m also seriously considering making a lot of my gifts this year, to get back into the true spirit of the holiday season. I love giving things, and I feel like I’m a great gift-giver. But why not mix things up a little, and give less of my money but more of myself? Want to know what I mean? Check this out:

So, in this season of Advent, I’m celebrating the act of waiting. Celebrate with me. I think it’s going to be the start of a pretty incredible adventure.

A letter

Dear dream job:

Are you out there? Do you exist? Am I just too young to have found you?

I don’t think I’m asking for too much here. I’ve even expanded my options. I’d now easily be willing to tackle the following tasks on a regular basis:

• Girls’ ministry
• Design brochures, newsletters, business cards, and the like for individuals and non-profits
• Write/blog for magazine or website
• Edit stories or articles
• Run errands
• Babysit
• Read and review books
• Undertake others’ to-do lists
• Organize (pretty much anything)
• Assist a photographer
• Teach
• Learn
• Plan activities and/or events
• Coordinate volunteer opportunities

If I could perform one or more of these duties while also making at least $30K/year with spousal health coverage, I would be a very happy employee. I’m a hard worker. I maintain an organized work space, and once I’ve begun a task, I am entirely self-motivated. I could easily work from home, though I’m not asking for that. I truly do not mind getting up and going to work each day; I admit, though, that I prefer to be kept busy while I am there.

I once believed that you, dream job, could help me change the world, could fulfill my innermost desires, could utilize all of my gifts and talents. I know now that that is impossible. Only one thing can fulfill me, and it’s not a job. So now my ideals have changed.

I’m no longer looking for the impossible. I believe that you, dream job, are in fact out there waiting for me somewhere. After all: I’m no longer looking to change the entire world; just my little corner of it will suffice. I’m no longer looking to fulfill my innermost desires; just something to keep the worker bee in me content. I’m no longer looking to use all my gifts and talents; just a few. I think this is doable.

So, dream job, do contact me. I’m waiting, and I’m trying to be patient. I know I’m just 22, and I have a long way to go, but I promise that if you find me, I’ll serve you well. I have a pretty decent résumé, and I’m one of the most responsible 22-year-olds I think you’ll find anywhere.

I like my current job, but honestly: I think there’s something more. I don’t think this is idealistic or naïve. I think it’s true. Prove me right. Until then, I’ll be waiting.

Sincerely,

Annie Butterworth Jones

This little life of ours.

It was a crazy Thanksgiving break. Wonderful dinner, hilarious family volleyball match, and amazing macaroni and cheese. Then Jordan catches strep (or some weird variation of the illness). We change travel plans, stay home, watch both of our teams lose (and badly). It absolutely pours rain for two days straight, leaving us with a leaky roof and a bowl full of gross-looking rainwater in our entryway (can I withhold December’s rent check until they fix the problem?). We celebrate Jordan’s birthday with a cookie, some pretty nice-looking khaki pants, and a gift that’s still en-route (he’s going to love it!). I cover our back door with contact paper and make a display of our wedding cards, fulfilling my need to craft-- for the time being.

All in all, it was a rather eventful (though surprisingly relaxing) Thanksgiving, and coming back to work was slightly disappointing, especially with Jordan still in bed this Monday morning.

No worries, though, because I arrived at work this morning to see an email from our wedding photographer! Some wedding shots are up on her blog… Check them out! This might be my favorite (so far):


HOORAY for wedding pictures, and HOORAY for the month of December! I love Christmas, and this year since we finally get to spend the holidays together, Jordan and I are planning on doing something fun each day of this special month. Tonight we’re making an advent calendar (or, more accurately, I’ll be making the advent calendar while Jordan studies for finals… Yuck!). I’m pretty pumped about all this month holds, and I can’t wait to celebrate old traditions and start new ones of our own.

I love this little life!