Wednesday, July 8, 2009

lessons in humility.

I think God sometimes teaches us that life isn't about us. 

That He's in control. 

That Father knows best. 

That His timing is perfect. 

Last night, I watched as a friend of mine chose to put on Christ, to become His child. 

Her decision was a culmination of hours of prayer and study, of patience and perseverance by those that love her. It was a joyous moment to share with the Father's family. 

Unfortunately, even in times of great joy and celebration, our Enemy is at work. 

And lately, it seems he has been trying extra hard to get under my skin. 

To invade my thoughts with doubt. 

And selfishness.

And pride. 

And jealousy.

As much it hurts to confess these grotesque thoughts, it feels good and right to get it out.

To purge myself of these thoughts that plague and trip me up. 

To admit that ten years after my own spiritual decision I'm still struggling. I'm imperfect. I'm full of pride and arrogance and all the things that make one ugly.

But I have a Savior. 

And just as my friend is forgiven of her sins each and every time she fails, I too am forgiven of mine. 

Her decision last night was a beautiful reminder that all of my life boils down to one thing: It's not about me. 

This life is not about my words, my works, or even my prayers. 

It's about Him.

It's about what He does with the words He's given me. How He is at work. How He answers my prayers. 

He is responsible for the good. The beautiful. The lovely. The pure. 

The decisions that bring one joy. 

I can't take credit for any of it. Not one little bit. 

Because it's not about me. 

It's about Him. 

And every time I look at the cross, I know it's true. 

And I am forever grateful. 

For His goodness. 

And His grace. 

1 comment:

JennBrenn said...

That is so beautiful and so true. Thanks for sharing. I love you.