Ode to the DNC

I won’t talk too much about politics on here (that’s more of Chet’s thing), but now that the Democratic National Convention has come to a close, I’d like to say a few things.

- I’m kind of sick of how people like me are being categorized in the mainstream media. I’m 22, which makes me one of those “young voters” we hear so much about. Unfortunately, contrary to CNN’s belief, I’m not in awe of Barack Obama. I mean, he’s a fine speaker. An excellent one, even. But I’m not going to vote for him because of his speaking ability, so please stop lumping me together with every other 18 to 25 year old in our country, okay? Thanks.

- I actually am not a big fan of change. I’m pretty sure I’ve made that abundantly clear. So although rhetorically Obama’s messaging is fabulous (seriously, give his campaign a gold medal), I think it might be time to switch tactics. Sure, some change is good. But I don’t really have a need for some ambiguous change that's not even guaranteed to occur. See, I learned this in logic class: it's hard to guarantee something difficult to define. So don't try to convince me otherwise. It won't work.

- I’m a woman, which the mainstream media thinks must mean I’m a pro-choice feminist. Shockingly, they’re wrong again. I am sick and tired of all women being lumped together with Hilary's pantsuits; since when do we all believe the same thing? In fact, Katie Couric, come on down to Tallahassee, where most of the women I know are adamant in their stance that human life is sacred. Believing abortion is wrong or that it’s okay to stay home with your kids doesn’t make me less of a feminist. Maybe it actually makes me more of one. What an appalling concept.

- Hollywood, no one really cares what you think about politics. We all know you that most of you are pretty clueless about real-world issues since you live in houses about five times the size of ours. Don’t worry, though, because thanks to you, I’m now aware that the Democratic Party and the DNC are way hip and cool. ‘Cause, you know, that’s important when picking the next leader of the free world. Please, do me a favor, and just promote your latest film. I’ll gladly listen to you then. You do your job, and I’ll do mine.

- Republicans, I hope you were watching this week. The Democrats really know how to throw a party (see point above). I’m not quite sure how you’re going to overcome the old, white man stereotype when that’s exactly what you’ve got running for President, but you’ve got to give it your best shot. You’ve got a lot to beat, but with some effort, you can do it. Yes! You! Can!