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On TMI
"Do you have a paper towel? I'm sweating up a storm."
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On adulting
On Kathleen Kelly and friends
"You'll love You've Got Mail. It's a great family comedy."
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On choosing your adjectives wisely
"Oh my god. That pen is delicious. So juicy!"
Teen customer: "I teach Sunday school to 2-year-olds, and would you believe the children's coordinator gave the class Dixie cups of water? I wanted to tell her, 'Um, they can't do that yet.' I'm so glad I know something a 30-year-old doesn't."
|||On Kathleen Kelly and friends
"You'll love You've Got Mail. It's a great family comedy."
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On choosing your adjectives wisely
"Oh my god. That pen is delicious. So juicy!"
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On age-appropriate literature
Customer: "I have a nephew who's turning five. He's developmentally delayed, so I'd like a classic book his mother could read to him that he'll still understand and enjoy."
Me, heading back to the picture book section: "Great! We have a lot of classic, illustrated story collections, like Mother Goose or these fairy tales. But The Day the Crayons Quit is really fun and cute, too."
Customer, not convinced: "I was thinking maybe The Secret Garden."
Me: "... by Frances Hodgson Burnett?"
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On bookseller-customer confidentiality
"Excuse me, but do you have Get Your Loved One Sober?"
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On age-appropriate books
Fourth-grade boy: "Excuse me. I am looking for the literary masterpiece Sun Tzu, The Art of War."
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On "oh no, you didn't"
"I heard Harper Lee had a new book out; he hasn't published in years, has he?"
On age-appropriate books
Fourth-grade boy: "Excuse me. I am looking for the literary masterpiece Sun Tzu, The Art of War."
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On "oh no, you didn't"
"I heard Harper Lee had a new book out; he hasn't published in years, has he?"
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On price point
Bookseller, ringing up an autographed book: "Your total is $31.98."
Customer: "Geez. What'd she do, sign it in gold?"
2 comments:
Ahhhh these crack me up!
These are my favorite. So freaking funny every single time.
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