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On books as temptation
Customer, with large stack of books in hand: "Someone ought to lock me up!"
Me: "You know, there are worse vices to have."
Customer: "True. The problem is, I'm going to drink at least a glass of wine with each of these."
Me: "You know, there are worse vices to have."
Customer: "True. The problem is, I'm going to drink at least a glass of wine with each of these."
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On a chocolate's worth
On "you are what you read"
Customer: "I'm reading this book you recommended, and all of the short stories are about infidelity. You're not thinking of pulling the plug, are you?"
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On Mother's Day gift-giving
Manager: "Are we getting a gift card today?"
Customer, after eating one of our shop's truffles: "You know, when you said three dollars, I thought, 'How can y'all screw people like that?' But then I tasted it, and I understand."
|||On "you are what you read"
Customer: "I'm reading this book you recommended, and all of the short stories are about infidelity. You're not thinking of pulling the plug, are you?"
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On Mother's Day gift-giving
Manager: "Are we getting a gift card today?"
Dad: "Yes, we are making no decision."
Son: "This is a decision."
Dad: "No, a gift card is not a decision."
Son: "Yes, it is. I could have chosen a Target gift card or a Wal-Mart gift card or a Bookshelf gift card, and I chose The Bookshelf. It was a decision."
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On sneezing etiquette
"I must be allergic to something in here. I've gotta quit trying to stifle it; sounds like it's coming out the other end!"
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On one-stop shopping
"Oh my gosh, you have chocolate, too? You're complete!"
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On sneezing etiquette
"I must be allergic to something in here. I've gotta quit trying to stifle it; sounds like it's coming out the other end!"
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On one-stop shopping
"Oh my gosh, you have chocolate, too? You're complete!"
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On fashion
Teenage girl to employee: "Oh, I love your necklace!"
Employee: "Well, thank you!"
Girl, mournfully: "You have such great style."
Employee: "Oh, thank you so much, but you do, too! I love your dress."
Girl: "Oh, my mom made me wear this."
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On destruction of property
Customer: "What's wrong with your chairs?"
Me: "Oh, I think sadly someone's begun peeling the leather off."
On fashion
Teenage girl to employee: "Oh, I love your necklace!"
Employee: "Well, thank you!"
Girl, mournfully: "You have such great style."
Employee: "Oh, thank you so much, but you do, too! I love your dress."
Girl: "Oh, my mom made me wear this."
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On destruction of property
Customer: "What's wrong with your chairs?"
Me: "Oh, I think sadly someone's begun peeling the leather off."
Customer: "Well, they look like they've been mutilated."
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On the perfect present
"Cookbooks are the gift that gives back to you. Now my mom can make me something."
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On mission-making
Young girl: "Excuse me; where is your children's section?"
Me: "Oh, let me show you. It's this whole back part of the store, first picture books, then middle reader books, where your kind of books are."
Girl, wide-eyed, pauses, then claps hands twice. "Let's do this."
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On the perfect present
"Cookbooks are the gift that gives back to you. Now my mom can make me something."
|||
On mission-making
Young girl: "Excuse me; where is your children's section?"
Me: "Oh, let me show you. It's this whole back part of the store, first picture books, then middle reader books, where your kind of books are."
Girl, wide-eyed, pauses, then claps hands twice. "Let's do this."
1 comment:
That last one absolutely made my day. :)
xox
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