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On missing the point
Customer: "Tell me what's hot right now."
I launch into a description of A Little Life and Better Than Before.
Customer: "Great. Can I get those on Kindle?"
I launch into a description of A Little Life and Better Than Before.
Customer: "Great. Can I get those on Kindle?"
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On drinking buddies
On TMI
"I love walking in cemeteries. But only when it's raining. I guess that's creepy."
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On who you know
Little girl, in desperation: "I want chocolate!"
Mom: "Don't worry, honey. The Easter bunny's going to bring you some."
Little girl: "How does the Easter bunny know where The Bookshelf is?"
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On enough is enough
Boy, walks ten feet into the store: "Okay, I'm done."
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On gift buying
Four-year-old boy, approaches register: "Excuse me. I need a birthday gift for a little boy who is turning five."
Me: "Okay, would you like my help?"
Boy: "Yes, please."
Me: "Does he like animals? Or maybe dinosaurs? Or trucks?"
Boy: "We really don't know what he likes. That's the problem."
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On knowing what you like
Little boy, running through the store: "NO MORE STORY TIME!"
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On connotation vs. denotation
Customer to me: "Oh, you look just like a modern day hippie!"
Me: "I'll take that as a compliment!"
Customer: "You should. Hippies are freedom with class."
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On when saying nothing at all is the better option
Elderly customer: "I just found out my husband has to have surgery."
Employee: "Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that!"
Customer: "It's quite alright. I have life insurance on him."
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On springtime in the South
"Pollen is just the birth pangs of spring."
"John Grisham's somebody I'd like to get drinks with."
|||On TMI
"I love walking in cemeteries. But only when it's raining. I guess that's creepy."
|||
On who you know
Little girl, in desperation: "I want chocolate!"
Mom: "Don't worry, honey. The Easter bunny's going to bring you some."
Little girl: "How does the Easter bunny know where The Bookshelf is?"
|||
On enough is enough
Boy, walks ten feet into the store: "Okay, I'm done."
|||
On gift buying
Four-year-old boy, approaches register: "Excuse me. I need a birthday gift for a little boy who is turning five."
Me: "Okay, would you like my help?"
Boy: "Yes, please."
Me: "Does he like animals? Or maybe dinosaurs? Or trucks?"
Boy: "We really don't know what he likes. That's the problem."
|||
On knowing what you like
Little boy, running through the store: "NO MORE STORY TIME!"
|||
On connotation vs. denotation
Customer to me: "Oh, you look just like a modern day hippie!"
Me: "I'll take that as a compliment!"
Customer: "You should. Hippies are freedom with class."
|||
On when saying nothing at all is the better option
Elderly customer: "I just found out my husband has to have surgery."
Employee: "Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that!"
Customer: "It's quite alright. I have life insurance on him."
|||
On springtime in the South
"Pollen is just the birth pangs of spring."
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