spoken in the shop, vol. 18.

On family members

"You have to read these books. They're so funny, so gentle. It's like being with Aunt... well, whoever your favorite aunt is." 

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On appropriate greetings

Me: "Good morning!"
Customer: "Uh-huh."

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On shopping standards
Four-year-old girl: "I'm not in the mood for necklaces today."

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On that moment I feel like a failure
"It's just a bookstore, like Books-A-Million."

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On teaching your child the way he should go
Dad, coloring during story time: "I'm giving my bird a blue mohawk. He's a punk rock bird."
Little boy: "Dad, what's a punk rock bird?"
Dad: "A bird with good taste."

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On questions you should know the answer to
Me: "Would you like a bag today, ma'am?"
Customer, long pause: "What? What does that mean?"
Me: "Would you like a bag for your book today?"
Customer, long pause, expectant look: "Yes..."
Me: "Believe it or not, not everyone wants one."
Customer: "Oh."

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On candy and cats
Customer, while sampling candy corn at the register: "I have to name my cat 'Candy Corn.' It's perfect!"

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On treating yo' self.
Manager: "Can I help you find anything today?"
Customer: "Oh, I'm just out dinker-donkerin' around."

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On fame and fortune
"I'm famous on Goodreads. I got 800 likes on a review."