Thursday, August 7, 2014

spoken in the shop, vol. 16.



On inappropriate affections
"The Holocaust was my favorite."
Pretty sure she was talking about the museum, but still...

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On written sentiment
Customer: "You had the absolute perfect card for my sister."
Manager: "Oh good, I'm so glad!"
Customer: "Maybe now she'll start talking to me again."


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On toys and breakfast food
Little boy: "Y'all used to have those things that looked like pancakes. Why don't you anymore?"
Me: "Pancakes? Was it a toy?"
Little boy: "Yes. It looked like a pancake and had a white string."
Me: "Hmmm. Wait, a yo-yo?"
Little boy: "Yes, that's it! Like a pancake!"

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On becoming a one-stop shop
Customer: "Do you have any books about palm reading or fortune telling? Even dreams?"
Me, from behind the register: "I'm not sure; let me look. I sometimes carry a dream dictionary, but we may be sold out."
Customer: "I'm also in the market for one of those round, clear things. A crystal ball. Do you have one of those back there?"

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On availability
Customer: "I have a question for you."
Me: "Sure, I can help you."
Customer: "You have every book except the one I need."

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On popular film
Customer: "So you watch movies here?"
Me: "We do have a film society where we read the book first, then watch the movie. Our next one is True Grit on August 21."
Customer: "I would come except I think that's just about the silliest movie I've ever seen."

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On education in the South
Customer: "You know what I tell them? You might be precious in His sight, but you're not in mine."
Me: "What grade do you teach?"
Customer: "Kindergarten."

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On serving the hipster clientele
Me: "Can I help you find anything?"
Customer: "I really just wanted to see if you carried anything obscure."

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On the definition of an autobiography
 Customer: "Who wrote The Diary of Anne Frank?"
Bookseller: "Um, Anne Frank wrote her own diary..." 

8 comments:

Rachael L. Anderson said...

That last one is great! I bet you wish you could record some of these people.

Betsy said...

These are hilarious.

Regan said...

I love these, they make me laugh every time and oftentimes I slam my head onto my desk!

Jules said...

The hipster and the teacher cracked me up. :)

Rachel Elizabeth said...

These always crack me up. I love the one about the yo-yo.

Brittany said...

I've said it before, but I'll say it again: I love this series. It may be one of my favorite things on the internet.

Also, did I mention that I listened to two of your podcasts this weekend while doing a big closet clean? I only felt a little bit creepy :)

(And I really enjoyed both. It's good stuff. Keep going please.)

Alexis Winston said...

I cannot handle these! Sooo funny! And the customer asking about who wrote The Diary of Anne Frank...?

Mrs. Kee said...

I found your blog through Elizabeth Ivie's blog and I absolutely love it. What you have done - leaving your job to take over a bookstore - is my dream. Alas, my husband is in medical school so we really need the stability of my job right now so if it's ok with you, I'm going to just live vicariously through you for the time being.