I feel like every day I'm being required to do hard things, and this week, in particular, feels like it's full of the challenges and struggles that have been waiting for me all summer. This entire process has been so daunting, perhaps more than I ever originally anticipated, and so, today, I began to wonder:
How did I get here? How did this happen?
And then I remembered: A year ago, I found out my favorite bookstore was opening a new branch, moving to Tallahassee. And I did something I almost never do -- I took a risk. I sent an email. A long, rambling email about how much I loved books and dreamed of becoming the next Kathleen Kelly.
Wouldn't you know it, I got a response back.
That response led to a job at The Bookshelf Midtown, and a few, very short months later, that email led to this opportunity of a lifetime, to become the owner of a small town, brick-and-mortar bookstore.
Look, these have been hard months. I think that's fair and important to say because every story has really hard parts. This summer has not been glamorous, easy, or fun.
But today, while digging through my email archives, I found the email that started it all. And I remembered why I wanted this to begin with.
It would be really easy to look back on this summer as one of the most difficult ever. It would be easy to remember it as the rainy one, the one where I got up for work and every day had to face some major or minor difficulty or challenge.
But that wouldn't be entirely fair. Because while yes, this summer has had more than its fair share of rainy days, there also has been sunshine.
I chose this. I could have a quit a long time ago, and I guess I would have been okay.
But I chose to stick it out, and I'm choosing to move forward.
This week will answer a lot of questions. By Labor Day, we'll have made our very final decision.
We have experienced hard, rainy days. I won't try to gloss over them. I don't want to.
But I also don't want to forget where this all started, how much I wanted it and why.
It's easy to get lost in the rain, in the doubt and frustration and panic.
This email, though, reminds me where this journey began, and all of a sudden? I feel very lucky after all.