Thursday, September 27, 2012

adjusting.



I can't decide if it's happiness or busy-ness preventing me from joining the ranks of everyday bloggers these past few weeks. I can't seem to get my act together, and I can't decide if I'm okay with it or not. 

In order to write a good story, you have to live a good story, and I feel like that's what I've been doing: I quit my job and started a new one. We rented a new house in a new neighborhood. I traveled to the other side of the country and back. I've said goodbye to old friends and old activities and old habits, and my life is slowly noticing the difference. 

The stories I'm accumulating are multiplying and growing grander by the day, yet there's no time to write it down, and as someone who has always taken pleasure in the writing and reflecting, I'm worried these memories will expire if I'm not careful. 

All of a sudden,  I am not at a loss for words but for time, and I'm wondering just how I'm supposed to have the energy at the end of every day to reflect on what I've said and done.

Because make no mistake: Reflecting is my favorite. My brain is always working, always narrating, and the fact that I am suddenly consumed by action is bizzare and exciting and exhilirating. 

I am selling books, and I am attending retail markets, and I am conducting storytimes, and I am reading reading reading, and I am so happy about it.

But (you saw there was a but, right?) I am tired in the evenings. My feet hurt, and I don't want to read, I want to watch Grey's Anatomy, and I feel like that's a sign of an impending apocolypse, but there it is. 

I deal with really lovely people, but I also deal with the occasional person who wants to borrow a book instead of buy, or who flat out says they prefer Amazon shopping to shopping local. Which is fine, but you don't really have to tell me, you know? 

Basically, I'm adjusting, and the blog has suffered a bit, but more importantly, my ability to inwardly cope and contemplate has suffered.

So I'm shooting for a more consistent October. I'm hoping I've hit my stride and the next few weeks will be more about cementing a routine than adjusting to a new one. I'm hoping to use my mornings wisely and to do some of my thinking then, when it's quiet, and I'm well-rested, and the fall breeze is coming through the screen door.

(P.S. I do seem to somehow be excelling at Instagram, so there's that. Username anniebjones05 if you're into that sort of thing.)


8 comments:

Erin said...

I'm so happy to hear from your internet corner again. :) I can't wait to hear about the things that have been going on! (And it all sounds very good.)

Leslie Lee said...

Great post, friend! Everything goes in seasons, and you're just in a different season right now. I don't think there's anything wrong with adjusting, slowly finding your routine. Keep pursuing the things that are life-giving for you in this season, whatever that looks like. I know what you mean about being afraid of forgetting something great that you want to write about later. Sometimes I use Anne Lamott's index card trick and just jot down a few words that will bring back that memory when I do have time to write.
P.S. your jeans in that picture almost match your blog design exactly - well done! ;)

Brittany said...

Life is like that. There have been times where my head is so full of stories and things to say, and there are times when I am just doing, and the words will not come. Somehow, there is happiness in both. And you're so right--you have to have stories to tell them.

Can't wait to read more from you in the coming months, but I'm happy to hear that you're happy with all of the changes.

Laura said...

Girl, I know the feeling. Lately I feel like I barely have the energy to keep up regular life, let alone blogging about it! I think it's sort of a good problem to have, but it's definitely good to recognize weariness and try to tweak routines a bit to get them just right. Ha - seems like a lifelong battle.

Rachel Reeves said...

Take your time, friend.
And when, where and in the timing you feel is right, you come back....

We will all be here!

Love you!

Hannah said...

I feel ya.

I have a lot of living to write about, but the second I get a break, all I want to do is sit. Or live some more. Or just soak in what I've been living.

I'll get it written down eventually.

In the meantime, I'm glad we have almost every other form of social media to keep up :)

Hannah said...

I feel ya.

I have a lot of living to write about, but the second I get a break, all I want to do is sit. Or live some more. Or just soak in what I've been living.

I'll get it written down eventually.

In the meantime, I'm glad we have almost every other form of social media to keep up :)

Sabrina said...

Your life is sounding good. Just give yourself time:)