a list of things i cannot do.

{photo by Leroy Grannis}

I've kind of been loving Abby's blog Little Stories lately, and her recent post, "A Small Sampling of Things I Cannot Do," is no exception. These days leading up to Easter remind us just how small we are, and what better way to recognize our personhood than by making a list of things we just can't do?

And so, mine.

I can't:

- Touch my toes.

- Remember all of the lyrics to any one song, despite my best efforts and intentions.

- Dance.

- Leave my house without forgetting at least one thing.

- Sing on key.

- Play badminton or tennis.

- Eat fewer than three cookies. It is three or more, always.
- Whistle.

- Talk and run at the same time.

- Roll my r's.

- Order funnily-named items at a restaurant without giggling.
- Cook a meal without some kind of recipe.

- Sew.
- Read and listen to a conversation at the same time. If I'm reading a book, I'm not listening to you.

- Eat without making a mess. (Just ask my husband and my mother.)

- Debate on any given political or religious issue without wanting to flee the premises. (It should be noted: Discuss and debate are two very different things.)

- Put in contacts.

- Swallow big pills, both literally and figuratively.

- Control my facial expressions.

- Watch or read women's birthing stories.

- Cry on command.
- Draw a properly-formed stick figure.

- Stop myself from rolling my eyes.

- Jump start a car or change a tire. (I will hear from my father about this, mark my words.)

- Get through a meal at a restaurant without eavesdropping on someone else's conversation.

- Sit in the front row at a movie theatre.

What can't you do?