Monday, February 27, 2012

a list of things i cannot do.

{photo by Leroy Grannis}

I've kind of been loving Abby's blog Little Stories lately, and her recent post, "A Small Sampling of Things I Cannot Do," is no exception. These days leading up to Easter remind us just how small we are, and what better way to recognize our personhood than by making a list of things we just can't do?

And so, mine.

I can't:

- Touch my toes.
- Remember all of the lyrics to any one song, despite my best efforts and intentions.
- Dance.
- Leave my house without forgetting at least one thing.
- Sing on key.
- Play badminton or tennis.
- Eat fewer than three cookies. It is three or more, always.
- Whistle.
- Talk and run at the same time.
- Roll my r's.
- Order funnily-named items at a restaurant without giggling.
- Cook a meal without some kind of recipe.
- Sew.
- Read and listen to a conversation at the same time. If I'm reading a book, I'm not listening to you.
- Eat without making a mess. (Just ask my husband and my mother.)
- Debate on any given political or religious issue without wanting to flee the premises. (It should be noted: Discuss and debate are two very different things.)
- Put in contacts.
- Swallow big pills, both literally and figuratively.
- Control my facial expressions.
- Watch or read women's birthing stories.
- Cry on command.
- Draw a properly-formed stick figure.
- Stop myself from rolling my eyes.
- Jump start a car or change a tire. (I will hear from my father about this, mark my words.)
- Get through a meal at a restaurant without eavesdropping on someone else's conversation.
- Sit in the front row at a movie theatre.

What can't you do?


memory said...

I love your addiction to your daily sampling of cookies. A cookie a day keeps the doctor away, right? :)


Kara Gehret said...

I am so with you on eavesdropping. I just can not stop. It's too interesting!!

Denise K said...

If I knew you in person, we would be best friends. :) Except I have a gift for song lyrics.

Leslie said...

So much on common. But amen to not being able to watch or listen to other peoples birth stories. Oh it is such torture! Can't do it. And I refuse to offer my own freely. Especially as a blog post. Gag! There......I feel better now.