may it be to me.

 {The Pieta, my favorite sculpture in Italy}

It is too early, I think, to dwell on resolutions for the new year. I want to end these days, to make my peace with 2010, to send it off in style. I don’t want to waste the final days of this tumultuous year by looking too quickly ahead.

But I have been thinking, at least a little bit, about how I want 2011 to be. I want to know what changes must be made to avoid some mistakes from the past. I want to enjoy the present but set goals and envision a more peaceful future.

This Sunday, our minister delivered a lesson about Jesus and Mary, a topic I’m sure others, too, are studying this season. This particular lesson, though, struck a chord. Mary isn’t another idol to be worshiped or some character to be ignored. Instead, Mary was just a girl. A girl who the Father knew would be faithful.

I’ve often wondered what set Mary apart from the rest, what designated her as God’s chosen. What made that 15 year old girl so different from all of the other 15 year old girls in Nazareth?

The answer, I have long thought, can be found in how Mary handled the responsibility given her: thoughtfully and gracefully.

Mary noticed and observed and pondered. She answered God’s call with courage.

Perhaps even more importantly, Mary knew what it meant to surrender. She was willing to wholly and completely give herself for something bigger.

I don’t know what would have happened to the story of the Christ-child if Mary had said no, if she and Joseph had married and had babies of their own and had chosen to quietly reject the angel’s message. God, in His infinite wisdom, would probably have given His Son another story. Mary would be nothing more than a blip on the pages of history.

I guess it really doesn’t matter, though, because Mary said yes.

Despite the uncertainty and the fear and the pain and the ridicule, she said yes.

There are so many things I wish I could change about these latter months. They have been filled with good, yes, but a few frustrating and painful moments have certainly capped off this year.

And, I think, if I could set one goal for 2011, if I could make one thing my mission, it would be to allow the Lord to do with me as He pleases.

I want to notice and observe and ponder. I want to be filled with grace and humility and thoughtfulness.

How those qualities can play out in the coming months of 2011, I’m not sure.

But I do know that only good can come from surrender.

It might be trying and tough and painful,

But it will be good.

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"The angel answered, 'The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you. So the holy one to be born will be called[c] the Son of God.... For nothing is impossible with God.”

'I am the Lord’s servant,' Mary answered. 'May it be to me as you have said.' Then the angel left her."

Luke 1:35-38