Wednesday, April 14, 2010

the Bible vs. Relient K.

I was in the shower the other night, having what I hope was the last minor meltdown during the whole "where will we live" saga. I was praying, crying, asking God to help. Help the decision we've made not hurt people. Help people to understand and to be kind, even if the decision we've made confuses them. Help us to understand why He didn't give us what we wanted (a condo in D.C., a job with the International Justice Mission, and a place at Georgetown, respectively).

And what came to my mind wasn't Scripture.

It was a Relient K song.

And I wonder what this means about me, and if I'm an okay person.

So I sat in the shower (GROSS... do not recommend) and these words played through my head:


"Let It All Out" by Relient K

Let it all out
Get it all out
Rip it out, remove it
Don't be alarmed
When the wound begins to bleed

'Cause we're so scared to find out
What this life's all about
So scared we're going to lose it
Not knowing all along
That's exactly what we need

And today I will trust You with the confidence
Of a man who's never known defeat
But tomorrow, upon hearing what I did
I will stare at you in disbelief
Oh, inconsistent me
Crying out for consistency

And You said, "I know that this will hurt,
But if I don't break your heart,
Then things will just get worse.
If the burden seems too much to bear
Remember
The end will justify the pain it took to get us there."

And I'll let it be known
At times I have shown
Signs of all my weakness
But somewhere in me
There is strength

And you promise me
That you believe
In time I will defeat this
'Cause somewhere in me
There is strength

And today I will trust you with the confidence
Of a man who's never known defeat
And I'll try my best to just forget
That that man isn't me

Reach out to me
Make my heart brand new
Every beat will be for you
For you.

I hope it's okay that a psalm didn't come to mind. That the words of David or Paul didn't play inside my head. The truth is, the chorus is catchy. And it helped.

And I think it's true.

The end will justify the pain it took to get us there.

3 comments:

jenna kristine said...

Let me tell you, this song was one that got me through a very difficult time a few years back. Songs like these just seem to put the words God would say to us into a soothing melody that is much like a balm to our souls... I think it's okay that Scripture wasn't the first thing that came to mind. I don't think that is the only way He speaks to our hearts. :)
Love you Annie!

chet said...

"I think it's okay that Scripture wasn't the first thing that came to mind. I don't think that is the only way He speaks to our hearts."

came to post this. or something similar.

Sabrina said...

It breaks my heart that this has been so tough for you both. Looking back though you will see that you had to do what was best for your marriage. I truely know that, that is God's will.
I have never heard that song, but finding words either in Scripture or inspired by Scripture is the best place to go when we don't have words.
Lastly, you and Jordan are both Christ seekers who motivate others ALL the time:) Maybe someone might be hurt for a moment, but I pray that everyone be asking what is best for you both above every other circumstance.
This is too long...should just call you:)