Friday, January 9, 2009

Dear waiting game,

Photo courtesy of Flickr.

Dear waiting game,

Last night we talked about you. The Bible study group and I. We talked about how tough you can be. How frustrating. How numbing.

How we feel like we’re always overcome by you. How we’re always waiting: for a spouse, for a job, for an adventure, for the next big thing.

And as we talked and shared, I realized something I’d somehow missed.

You’re what it’s all about.

My life, that is.

It’s all about the wait.

It scares me that I almost missed this, that I almost didn’t catch this piece of news in time.

I almost missed that I was sitting in the midst of friends I didn’t know a year ago.

That I was sitting in apartment that I didn’t live in a year ago.

With a husband in the other room.

That just a year ago, I was waiting for these very things.

And in the midst of suffering through your existence, I almost forgot that I have a job in a time when not everyone does.

That just because I’m about to celebrate a year at this non-profit doesn’t mean that I’ll be here forever.

You tricked me, see.

I thought you were something I was supposed to endure, to get over with.

I didn’t understand that it was possible to enjoy you.

Relish the moment, and all that jazz.

Thank goodness it hit me, before it was too late.

No more fooling me, not for now.

I’m paying attention.

Some days, you might make me miserable, but now I’m determined.

(And we both know how I get when I’m determined.)

Determined to enjoy you, to learn from you, to grow in you.



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